If You Really Loved Me You'd Let Me Eat Your Brain

Mr. and Mrs. America and all ships at sea:

You'll sleep well tonight knowing that the head clown at the UN has finally outlined his master plan for defeating terrorism.

3.5 years after the 9/11 attacks, almost to the day, Kofi Annan delivered a speech of staggering importance to an international conference on terrorism in Madrid. You can read a summary of the plan as reported by the UN here.

His five-point plan to defeat global terrorism:

Dissuade disaffected groups from choosing terrorism as a tactic to achieve their goals;
Deny terrorists the means to carry out their attacks;
Deter states from supporting terrorists;
Develop state capacity to prevent terrorism;
Defend human rights in the struggle against terrorism.

America has been doing all five since 9/11, and even before that though with a few notable intelligence failures. This is just another useless position paper, but what can you expect from an organization run by a secretary?

I take issue with a few things Annan said:

So of course the United Nations must be at the forefront in fighting against [terrorism], and first of all in proclaiming, loud and clear, that terrorism can never be accepted or justified, in any cause whatsoever.

By the same token, the United Nations must continue to insist that, in the fight against terrorism, we cannot compromise the core values I have listed. In particular, human rights and the rule of law must always be respected. As I see it, terrorism is in itself a direct attack on human rights and the rule of law. If we sacrifice them in our response, we will be handing victory to the terrorists.

Proclaim all you want but I’ve never heard of a terrorist group backing off because some frog in a powder blue helmet said “please” very nicely. The UN is the asthmatic wheelchair-bound genius kid in the bad reality show we call life who never gets out of his bedroom. He can issue all the writs and resolutions he wants but without some goons to go beat the snot out of people once in a while his followers will be the socially impotent who make up the ranks of the Chess Club, the D&D Club, and the Dr. Who Club at school. As 3XHAR is always quick to remind, the UN is a debating society and nothing more.

In the past the United Nations has not shrunk from confronting states that harbour and assist terrorists, and the Security Council has repeatedly applied sanctions. Indeed, it is largely thanks to such sanctions that several states which used to sponsor terrorists no longer do so.

Ahhh, sanctions. I’d forgotten about those. “Stop, or I’ll ask you to stop again!” How many terrorists have been killed by paper cuts, Mr. Annan?

I regret to say that international human rights experts, including those of the UN system, are unanimous in finding that many measures which States are currently adopting to counter terrorism infringe on human rights and fundamental freedoms.

Ahh yes, Human Rights. The ultimate obstructionist wild card. What about the human rights of the victims of terrorism? I’m not inclined to give them many. But I agree that we can’t go around killing people for the heck of it, like, say, a bunch of terrorists. So we need a policy on how to handle this new type pf enemy. That’s exactly what Gonzales was doing in the so-called torture memos. The brass wanted to know how far we cold go and they got an answer that I don’t disagree with. Panties on the head, stripping, human pyramids…these are all sound tactics to break down a suspect and get them to talk. The terrorists aren’t wearing the uniform of a recognized sovereign power in a declared war, so they’re not given all the protections of the Geneva Conventions. I think the US has done a wonderful job of handling their prisoners, but the media, the lefties, and the global offendigentsia have done a better job of crippling our interrogators. It’s sad, really.

I wonder, if the UN really had an army, would they fight with bullhorns and wear paper armor? All in all I’ll sleep safer tonight knowing that there are tens of thousands of US and Iraqi soldiers putting their lives on the line to make the world a safer place.