If You Really Loved Me You'd Let Me Eat Your Brain

Let's pretend that the world has gone to hell and people are using construction equipment to break into your residence or place of business.  They're taking your hard-earned stuff, your property!  Gangs of armed bandits roam the streets.

Which would you rather have, a sign asking them to please stop...or a rifle?  Ahhh, trusty rifle.  The last refuge of the truly civilized.

Oh, and for the record, Bush and those nasty Republicans are obviously to blame for the hurricane, at least according to Robert F. "Name Recognition Alone" Kennedy.  (Jr.?)

Kamp Krawford just got stupider.  Al Sharpton, America's stupidest black leader, is on his way to join Cindy "Groundhog Day" Sheehan in her protest against the very badness and meanness of war.

Check out this story on who is footing the bills for Camp My Son Died For Nothing.  A PR company with ties to liberal non-profits is running the show, and the richest 1% are footing the bills: Billionaires and millionaires like George Soros and Ben & Jerry's co-founder Ben Cohen.  A grassroots groundswell of anti-war sentiment, indeed.

Pelting helicopters with rocks?  That's so Palestinan of them!

This is irrefutable evidence of Mexican-Hezbollah ties.  We invade at dawn.

We're one step closer to flying laser beams capable of blowing stuff up real cool-like.

How do you spell relief?  H-E-L-L-A-D-S.

Goodness, will it ever end?  Ms. Sheehan is back.

Here is a comment I offered to the blog entry referenced above.  I wonder if 1) It'll be accepted, and 2) Anyone will oblige me my request.

Of course I don’t know Cindy personally but my instincts tell me she’d probably be better off working through her grief privately.  I don't see what good can come out of this situation for her.  I’ve lost loved ones and the last thing I’d want is to keep the psychic wounds open for partisans of every stripe to pick at.  How can this sideshow, the bastard child of a reality TV-obsessed nation and its 24-hour news networks, always racing to be the first to tell us the obvious, bear any fruit?

In my opinion Cindy is being used by forces larger than herself to further their own agendas, and I don’t limit my criticism to any particular section of the political spectrum.

Some of the previous comments make reference to Bush having lied to get the US into the war in Iraq.  Would someone do me the favor of discussing this with me?  In all seriousness I’d like to have a lively debate on the topic of Bush’s honesty.

 

Can anyone tell me exactly what he lied about, and, having done so, give me a dictionary definition of a lie?  I’m not splitting hairs – I truly believe that Bush didn’t lie, though I do agree that the intelligence upon which he based some of his reasons for going to war in Iraq were unsound.  The bad intelligence was the result of decades of intelligence failures, most notably the failure to take Osama bin Laden seriously after the first World Trade Center attack, though there were also significant structural defects in the way the US prevented its intelligence agencies from sharing information.

It finally happened.  A patient complained about a doctor telling her she was obese.  Not fat, not tubby, not a lard-ass, not suffing from Fatfuckitis.  Just obese.

How can medical advice, which is by definition supposed to be objective and non-judjjmental, be viewed as a personal attack?  This is the kind of crap that makes me glad I dropped out of that pre-pre-med program before I got in too deep.

Read all about it here.

Hot off the IdiotPress newswire:

65 Girls At Area School Pregnant
School To Unveil Three-Prong Program

POSTED: 12:30 pm EDT August 23, 2005

CANTON, Ohio -- There are 490 female students at Timken High School, and 65 are pregnant, according to a recent report in the Canton Repository.

The article reported that some would say that movies, TV, videogames, lazy parents and lax discipline may all be to blame.

School officials are not sure what has caused so many pregnancies, but in response to them, the school is launching a three-prong educational program to address pregnancy, prevention and parenting.

OMFG!!  I have some ideas about what has caused so many pregnancies!  THE S-E-X!

Don't make Thaa Reverend go to Timken High for a Sex Ed workshop, because he is in NO mood for it, nor is the judge who signed the restraining order.

The story continues:

According to the Canton Health Department, statistics through July show that 104 of the 586 babies born to Canton residents in Aultman Hospital and Mercy Medical Center had mothers between 11 and 19.

 

11? Someone got an 11-year-old pregnant?  That someone needs to be killed, or at least severly beaten and chained to a radiator and forced to care for his spawn until it is old enough to beat him to death or free him.

P.s. Jujjment:
School administrators: Stick and loss of job. 
Story writer and editor: Stick. 
Pregnant girls: Stick and a stern talking-to about how to un-mess-up their lives. 
Guys who got the girls pregnant: Heavy sticking and a shotgun wedding.

I signed up for a Web seminar this morning.  The salesdroid wasted no time in phoning and e-mailing me.  Such pests.

You kno, if theirs one thing Thaa Reverend hates, its bad grammer:

Hi Tom,

If you like what you in during the seminar, I'd be happy to present to your team.

Best,

[Name]
Director Business Development
________________________________
Attunity Inc.
40 Audubon Road
Wakefield, MA 01880

Direct 781 XXX XXXX
Cell 781 XXX XXXX

If I like what I in during...what!?  Moron.  Thaa Reverend will not take your calls for one year!  No sale!

What part of the plan to have their daughter pose with a tiger for her senior high school pictures sounded like a good idea?  The tiger was gettin' all jerky and the girl still wanted to pose with it?  Stupid.

And why would they kill the tiger afterwards?  It was just doing its job, man!  It's a freakin' tiger.  Rawwr, claw, kill, eat, etc.  I think the tiger deserves a promotion.

I put this under "Lawsuit Fun" because I'm sure there will be one.  If I were on the jury I'd bring my Homer J. Fong glasses and catch up on my sleep.

It looks like someone is bucking for the title of Lord Dipshit Environcommie Wacknut of the Universe.  Ted Turner, liberal headcase and frontal-lobe-challenged contributor of $1,000,000,000 to the UN, is working on making a nature reserve out of...get this...the Korean DMZ.  Read the story here.

South Korean officials said Turner was visiting the Stalinist state to discuss a project to turn the De-Militarized Zone (DMZ) dividing the two Koreas into a nature reserve

I don't think I need to comment on this complete idiocy of this plan any further.