If You Really Loved Me You'd Let Me Eat Your Brain

I believe my 1993 Saturn SC2 has driven its last miles.  The battery is worn out and I'm too lazy to buy a new one.  Plus the car is in such disrepair (easily 20 linear feet of windshield cracks, bald tires, all out of alignment, and burning oil like a Jewish mountaintop fortress) that my wife is demanding that I buy a new car.

I wonder what kind of subtle genius I must possess that I've been able to, quite unintentionally, maneuver her into a position where she's demanding that I spend lots of money on a new toy.

I think I'm going to go with a Hyundai.  Or a Chrysler.  Or maybe a...I really have no idea.  I'm open to suggestions.