If You Really Loved Me You'd Let Me Eat Your Brain

I watched a news program on ABC last night about mean girls and how technology makes them extra mean.  One segment was about girls posting sexually suggestive photos on their MySpace accounts.  My wife put her hand over my eyes at that point.

The funniest segment was when a group of college researchers divided a dozen 14- or 15-year-old girls into three groups and put them in separate rooms with cell phones and computers.  The girls were only able to communicate with the other groups of girls in the experiment.  Things got very nasty very quickly.  The funniest insult I saw in the IMs flying back and forth was Fruitty McGay Gay.  Hearing Diane Sawyer ask the girls in a very serious voice what "Fruitty McGay Gay" meant made my wife and I laugh until our abs hurt.

I hereby declare Fruitty McGay Gay to be the preferred insult between now and 12:01 AM local time on September 18, 2006.  Take it to the street, Fruitty.

Be sure to stop by 2 Minute Sidebar and wish Dr. Fruitty McGay Gay a happy birthday.

AOL is giving away a bunch of swag it got as part of a lawsuit against a spammer.

Read about AOL Spammer's Gold Sweepstakes and enter today.

I wonder what the prizes are for runners up.  A low low home refinancing rate, a larger penis, and thicker, fuller hair?

The following is a comment posted in response to a Reason blog entry. I thought all y'all might get a laugh out of it. Just imagine how this would go over in enlightened, tolerant Madison.

I went to this cheap circus when I was in my early teens, and they had the world's smallest elephant. It came out following the other elephants around, but it couldn't keep up. After the other elephants left, it stood up on its hind legs, pulled a zipper and--whamo--a chimpanzee jumped out of the elephant suit!

...The chimpanzee jumped up on a mini-motorcycle. It was real--it had a workin' motor and everything, but the ringmaster had the monkey attached to him by a chord. The ringmaster had the chimp drive the mini-cycle around the inside of the ring; every once in a while, the ringmaster would give the chord a yank, and the chimp would tumble off the motorcycle. Every time the chimp fell off the bike, the ringmaster would whip the chimp until it got back up on the bike again!

...The first time the ringmaster whipped the chimp, people started mumbling to themselves. The second time the ringmaster whipped it, people started gettin' really vocal. By the last time the monkey got the whip, the audience was so angry I thought someone might run into the ring and stop the ringmaster.

...That's when the chimp stood on its hind legs, pulled a zipper, and--whamo--a midget jumped out of the monkey suit! ...Everyone applauded and laughed at themselves.

I guess the moral of the story is that the two-bit circus audiences of central Maryland in the early '80s could get mad as hell seein' a monkey get horse whipped, but, for some reason, whippin' little people was considered good family entertainment.

The collected entries for The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster can now be accessed here, in HTML or PDF format.

The writing is top-notch and wickedly funny. The author sometimes seems to have a better understanding of Vader and the Force than does Lucas, and he's an infinitely better writer of dialogue.